Reclaiming Your King: Overcoming Trauma and Taking Back Your Throne

I want to briefly address something that often lies at the heart of the problems that keep us stuck in life: trauma. Trauma can be a single event or a series of events that cause intense physical and emotional stress, and its effects can linger long after the event itself. It can disrupt our sense of safety, peace, and connection, leaving us feeling disconnected from others and unable to move forward.

Learning to accept help can be difficult for many men, but it is a true sign of strength, not weakness, when we allow others to support us on our journey.

When we experience trauma, it can feel as if we’re living in a completely different universe. Connecting with others or simply moving on might seem impossible without help and support. Imagine being tossed around on a ship in a stormy sea: you can't find your balance or walk a straight line because the boat is constantly being thrashed by the waves. Even when the storm finally subsides and we’re back on solid ground, we still struggle to regain our balance. Others might look at us and wonder why we can’t just shake it off, but the truth is, for many trauma survivors, we never fully regain that balance. We might never walk straight again in the way others expect.

When we face trauma, we’re left with a choice: We can choose to survive, or we can choose to live. Surviving means holding on, just trying to get through life until the pain subsides. Living, on the other hand, means re-opening ourselves to the world, trusting others, and feeling our emotions fully—so we can experience true happiness and live out our purpose, our own North Star.

To move from survival to living, those who have experienced trauma must be willing to face it head-on. In our work, we sometimes refer to these traumas as "dragons." But these dragons are not meant to be slain—they need to be alchemized. In other words, we need to turn our pain into something meaningful, to transmute our "shit" into gold.

Trauma can take many forms—some big, some smaller but accumulated over time. Regardless of its size, all trauma has the same destructive potential and does similar damage. Recognizing trauma for what it is is critical. With the right support—whether from trusted friends, a community of men, or, in more serious cases, a therapist—we can finally lay down the heavy burden we've been carrying. We can straighten our arrow, step into our true selves, and reclaim our throne as kings.

Another major factor that holds many men back is the absence of honest, meaningful relationships with other men. We need to surround ourselves with men who have walked the path before us—men who have faced their own traumas and come out stronger on the other side. This lack of wise, supportive guidance from men we can trust has become a serious issue in modern life. In the past, rites of passage and mentorship from older men were common, but today, they’re often missing, leaving many men feeling lost and isolated.

We must acknowledge that the lack of these guiding figures has left a void that many men struggle to fill. This absence makes us feel disconnected, adrift, and unsure of where to turn.

The work of "Reclaiming Your King and Taking Back Your Throne" won’t magically fix the parts of us that feel traumatized, stuck, or broken. But it will help loosen the grip of limiting beliefs and mistruths that keep us from seeing things clearly. This process allows us to begin seeing our past, the world, and ourselves as they truly are—not as we wish them to be. From that place of clarity, we can begin to make a plan for the future, gain the support and clarity we need, and reclaim our power.

Eric Bloomstein